Sentencing Hearing – November 4, 2021

Sentencing Hearing – November 4, 2021


Dear friends,

I am posting my’ testimony at the sentencing hearing almost a year ago. The testimonies of the alleged victim’s family were not reported, and as hard as we tried, we were unable to get them from the court. I will just say that Raven Thrasher (the mother) read her long list of outrageous lies. Her partner Angie echoed her lies and the father said that he pretty much had nothing new to add. The alleged victim basically said that “enough had been said”. He asked the judge to keep me in prison until he turns 18.

Hello, everyone,
thank you for this opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings. We had a long trial. A lot of people testified. A lot of evidence was brought up. The evidence speaks for itself.

I am not going to apologize for the crimes that I did not commit:

I never molested John Doe. I never touched him inappropriately. I never sent him any sexually explicit content. I have never been alone with him.

I never stalked John Doe. I never physically followed him and never made any threats. I only saw John Doe 5 or 6 times in my entire life. It was before the restraining order was issued. Three of those times he came to my house to see my son Daniel.

John Doe could have easily blocked my emails. No one made him read them. No one forced him to look for my blogs either. My posts on my own blogs are protected by the 1st amendment.

I never tried to kidnap John Doe either. My son and I were trying to help him get away from an abusive situation and get him into foster care.

Child kidnappers do not reach out to their victim’s family members, to their school, to CPS, police and DAs.

Child kidnappers do not give their victims money and phones. Child kidnappers take money and phones away from their victims.

Child kidnappers do not give their victims detailed directions to shelters where they can be safe from abuse.

I am not a child kidnapper.

No one was trying to conceal John Doe from his family, nor from the authorities either. If John Doe ever did come to Dreamcatcher (youth shelter), his family and police would have been notified right away, as per the policy of Dreamcatcher.

Once again, I am not going to apologize for crimes that I did not commit.

However, there are thigs that I do want to apologize for.

I am deeply sorry for all the pain that was inflicted on John Doe as the result of my conflict with Raven. I wish I would have loved John Doe enough to be more patient and more compassionate in resolving my conflict with Raven so as to spare John Doe the pain and the punishment of her revenge.

Even though my character witness Konstantin knew close to nothings about my case, he saw right through it. He said that my case was about a kid caught in the cross fire between two adults. This is exactly wat this case is really about.
It should have been titled “Raven vs Gypsy”.

During preliminary examination Sgt. McGee said that he had only spoken to John Doe once during the entire duration of my case. That one and only time John Doe was brought to the police by his mother.

When Sgt. McGee was asked how many times Raven had contacted him, he said that she had contacted him so many times that he was unable to give a specific number.

John Doe did not show up for the restraining order hearing. He put 4 cuts on his arm when the first restraining order was issued.

When I was accused of trying to kidnap John Doe, he did not call the police. Instead, he went straight to the meeting spot, which shows that he was not really afraid of being kidnapped.

John Doe said things during his trial testimony that did not make sense. If he really thought that Daniel and I were trying to kidnap him, how come he didn’t say a single negative word about Daniel? Instead, he spent quite a bit of time talking about how fond he was of Daniel, how close they were as friends. Then he said: “Daniel is fed up with me.” He didn’t say: “I am fed up with Daniel because he tried to kidnap me.” He said: “Daniel is fed up with me.”

John Doe said that he had to look over his shoulder because he was worried about being kidnapped all this time. This makes no sense. I’ve been incarcerated almost the entire time since the Target incident happened. Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to kidnap him while incarcerated.

I am not God and I am not John Doe. I can only speculate about the reasons why he was being dishonest during his trial testimony.

It probably has everything to do with his childhood trauma, his insecurities, his mixed emotions and the difficulty of his situation.

I am not here to judge him. I forgive him. I hope he forgives me some day. If he chooses to contact me after the restraining order expires, I will be open to having a conversation with him. If he never contacts me again, I will be fine with that. I have no intentions to intrude in his life.

Getting back to my conflict with Raven, I do feel that I owe a huge apology to John Doe for getting caught up in dark emotions, for dumping a bunch of hostility on Raven in total disregard for how it was going to affect John Doe.

I was driven by the pain of my own adolescence, by my own unresolved mommy issues. I wanted John Doe to rebel against Raven the way I wished I would have rebelled against my own mother when I was his age. I didn’t see what I was doing. I didn’t realize at the time how much I was letting my own unresolved issues and my negative ego pollute my judgement of the situation.

I feel that it was helpful that I told John Doe that the way his mother was treating him was unacceptable. I don’t regret doing that. I told him about our dog having been tortured. I feel that that was helpful too. However, continuously bombarding Raven with hate was not helpful, but was rather very destructive. It really wast my place to make all those judgements against Raven trying to influence John Doe’s perception of her as a person. He was too young to form his own opinions independently, and it wasn’t my place to force my opinions on him.
Seeing the darkness and the destruction of our parents’ abuse is very important for our healing process, our spiritual growth and for discovering who we truly are.

People who are in denial of their parents’ abuse never become themselves and perpetuate that abuse on their own children and peers. I feel that making John Doe aware of his abuse and calling a spade a spade was important. I don’t regret doing that. However, I should have stopped right there and let him come to his own conclusions about his childhood and his mother when he is ready, when he is mature enough to form his own opinions.

I should have just offered John Doe genuine friendship instead of dragging him into a world war between me and his mother.

I thought Raven was driven by narcissism, revenge, competition and jealousy. I recently realized that Raven’s narcissism, revenge, competition and jealousy were only a reflection of my own narcissism, revenge, competition and jealousy. I am really glad that I finally learned that lesson. I just wish it wasn’t at the expense of John Doe’s sanity.

There is even a Disney cartoon where the same female character is referred to as both Raven and Gypsy.

I also owe John Doe a huge apology for all the hostility that I dumped on him.

It’s funny, but really not so funny, that I am being treated like a criminal for expressing my love towards John Doe. But genuine love has never harmed anyone. I don’t feel any remorse for expressing my love.

I do feel remorse for all the hate and hostility that I dumped on John Doe when I was mad at him. Because I know that hate and hostility always cause damage, no matter how justified they may seem.

Almost exactly 23 years ago my husband Serguey committed suicide. Even though I constantly told him that I loved him, I was afraid to really let him know quite how immense my love for him was. I was afraid that if he really knew how much I loved him, he would take me for granted and walk all over me.

And then he committed suicide because he didn’t realize how much I loved him.

I can’t even begin to express my regret. I can’t begin to express how devastating it was to lose Serguey.

I promised myself then that if I ever fall in love again I will never hold back my love, no matter how silly it may seem to others, no matter how much people ridicule and humiliate me for it. I promised myself then that I would never let my fear of humiliation get in the way of expressing my love. No matter how much judgements and humiliation hurt, nothing hurt more than Serguey’s suicide.

I promised myself that if a loved one ever became suicidal, I would do everything in my power to stop them and that I would never hold back my love.

When I first encountered Mr McCannon, I didn’t know what to make of him. I wasn’t sure if he was my enemy or my friend. But throughout the trial I got to like him. I really get a feeling that Mr McCannon is in touch with deeper love, that he genuinely cares about people and that he is genuinely kind. He works really hard at hiding his kindness. I am not sure why it is so important for him to hide it. But his efforts are failing. His kindness still shines through.

I have heard that Mr McCannon has a very good reputation, that he is known to be a very fair, unbiased judge. I’ve been telling everybody that I feel really blessed to have him as my judge. And I am not just saying this. I tell judges and DAs exactly what I think of them. That’s how I got my restraining order. That’s how I got all my bail motions denied, by telling the truth. I am grateful that with judge McCannon I don’t have to worry about getting in trouble for telling the truth.

Mr McCannon, I don’t know anything about your life, but I get a feeling that you were raised with love, that there was someone in your life who genuinely loved you when you were growing up. And you also seem like someone who would make a good parent, who would pass that love on.

I have created a really bad situation for my children and for everyone who depends on me, like my street kids. My incarceration has had a devastating effect on my kids.

My daughter Inti had a stroke and nearly died 10 days ago. She took a dirty ecstasy pill that was laced with fentanyl.
That is something that would have never happened had I been home. Thank God she was at home and not at some party! She took the pill and started dying about 2 hours later. She said that the right side of her brain was completely messed up. She couldn’t feel nor move the right side of her head. Her vision was completely screwed up in her right eye. She couldn’t talk and she could barely move. Thank God Daniel gave her two emergency doses of MMS before the ambulance arrived. I feel that she wouldn’t have survived had it not been for the MMS. MMS is the most magical medicine on the planet.

I really need to go home to take care of my daughter. In order to recover she needs to take the medicine 8 times a day on a very strict schedule. She needs a lot of loving care. I told her that I might be released because of her condition. She was so happy to hear that. She asked me: “Mom, how do you not give up?” I told her: “I don’t give up because I love you, guys. I will never give up because I love you.” Please, let me go home to my children before any more tragedies happen, before somebody dies.

My children really need me, and the jail is poisoning us with deadly chemicals that they use for cleaning. They use BETCO AF79. It’s not even supposed to be used indoors because it is so deadly. I have sent a bunch of grievances with information from BETCO’s own website, information about how deadly it is, but they don’t care. I nearly suffocated to death a few times because the jail doesn’t care whether we live or die. I don’t deserve a death sentence. Please, let me go home!

To be continued

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